With Forgiveness

It's not every day that you hear about a rape victim forgiving her attacker, or the shooter being granted forgiveness after a killing spree.
 It does happen, but more often than not, we are not asked to forgive on such an extreme level. We might just have a friend who likes to talk about us behind our back, or betray our trust when it really matters. We might have a spouse that thinks only of themselves, or kids who never listen and blame you for their failures. I think if we are honest, every day we get a chance to forgive someone. Humans hurt humans. It happens all the time, and is sometimes small and sometimes very big.

 I woke up today harboring some resentment toward a friend. Then I read this verse in the Bible found in Ephesians 4:32. "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." It's sounds simple enough. Bahahahaha

 What if someone hurts your feelings all the time! You don't deserve to be hurt! It's so hard to believe that if someone loves you they would hurt you so badly. Bahahahaha

 Every person I have ever known and loved has hurt me in some way one time or another. If you can't forgive others, your life is pretty much going to stink.

 So, if you catch yourself always filled with conflict and wanting to share with the world how you have been victimized in some way, stop, catch your breath, and ask God to help you forgive. Not just for a second, but real forgiveness that looks at your own heart and sees ugly there too. A forgiveness that tolerates others because you yourself have much to be forgiven for.

 Please note: I am not talking about staying in harmful situations that could hurt you physically or emotionally. I want to talk more about that in a future post on Trust. Forgiveness does not mean being unsafe.

 Forgiveness is a deep change that takes place in your heart. The Holy Spirit helps the believer and it's magic. You forgive like God has forgiven you, and He gives peace. You are then free to love those who are closest to your heart, and can tolerate patiently the human plight of sin.

 One time I lied to some friends who asked me not to share a secret with others. I did share the secret, and they found out. They didn't tell me they knew. They just asked me again if I had kept their secret. I lied again. I lost my friends. I apologized, but it didn't really help.

 Another time, I shared something private about my child that I promised to keep a secret. (Are you seeing a theme here? Please don't tell me secrets.) I hurt him badly and trust was broken. Guess what though? He did forgive me! It was exhilarating! I felt a deep sense of connection and love. He knew what I did and forgave me still. If this has happened to you before, then you know that to be forgiven feels wonderful and hurting others feels awful! You feel loved so much more than if people choose to cut you off for making mistakes. Take that feeling, multiply it by one million and that's how it feels to grant forgiveness, real forgiveness to someone else. So, if you wake up tomorrow on the wrong side of peace, ask God to help you forgive and Flood your life.

  I would have missed this if he hadn't forgiven me. What are you missing out on?

With Caution

This is my final post of the 31 day writing challenge! I will be honest with you, I am glad it is over. Not because I didn't enjoy writing about all my friends, but because it is a lot of pressure to write something every day. I am a procrastinator. I was up late most nights finishing at the last minute. I am so tired. I feel for all you college students out there who have to write papers every day. It is work.

I feel like I just finished my first half marathon of writing. Thank you for cheering for me. 

 I did learn some things though. When I started I wanted to make Proverbs 18:24 come alive for you. It says, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." I showed you time and time again, through examples, how to be a good friend. I also wanted you to meet the Friend that sticks closer than a brother. I pray this happened for you as you read. I wanted to thank you all for reading. You were so encouraging and I really appreciate it.

My husband was also a huge source of encouragement to me for this month. He put up with a lot of dirty dishes and unfolded laundry. He read every post and kept me on track.  Thanks hon. xoxo

Lastly, I wanted to share that I approached this challenge, and my subject matter, with caution. I wasn't sure if I would hurt feelings by only choosing 30 of my friends. God has been very generous to me, and I have many more friends than the ones I wrote about. I purposely didn't write about any of my kids, my husband, or my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. I didn't write about my amazing neighbors, past and present, or many of my church friends whom I love very much. I didn't include the godly men who are my friends, or my "adopted" kids from Tallwood or Regent. I haven't shared my foreign exchange students with you, or my hundreds of babies and toddlers. In short, don't be sad if I didn't write about you this time. I have lots of days open in the future, and if the Lord tarries, I might just get around to your story too. Until then, I hope you will reach out to the special people God has given to you for friends, and Flood your life.

With Newness

This is my friend Rochelle.

Her husband is in the United States Navy, and they have two beautiful daughters.

Rochelle and Erick

Sophia

Emma 

 Throughout my life I have known a lot of people that I would call acquaintances, but I love when they become friends. Rochelle is like that for me. We have known of each other for several years, but just recently have grown close. It's like that new pair of boots you have been wanting for a long time and finally get to purchase and wear in the Fall. She is sarcastic and funny, with a dash of melancholy, and a mass of gorgeous curly hair. She is an excellent mother, and I really enjoy hanging our with her kids because they behave. She is hardy and strong, as a good military wife should be, and she takes great care of her family when her husband is deployed. My favorite thing about her is her desire to please God each day, even though the Christian walk is fairly new to her. She is growing in her relationship with Him and volunteers at our church and reaches out to others.

Getting ready to go meet Daddy after an 8 month deployment.

Such sweet girls

At Chad's graduation party

 I love to watch as the Lord gently makes friends with His "new" children. He desires a deep relationship with us, and begins to build that the moment we accept Him as our Saviour. He has called Rochelle and she has answered. He is daily providing for her, calming her, guiding her, and showing to her that He can be trusted. It has changed her. She is blooming under His loving care into a daughter of the King.

Are you able to do this with your new friends? Not be God to them, but seek them out, come along side and pull with them through this harsh world; to connect through serving. God has made such wonderful provision for women in the form of girlfriends, but at some point all your friends are new. It can be hard to put yourself out there. Not everyone will want to be with you. They might even think you are weird. Trust me, the Lord understands. He is patient and so must you be. Relationships take time to build. Don't give up, because the only thing we get to take with us when we die are the people God has rescued and placed in our path. I am so blessed to have Rochelle for my new friend. It is worth all the smiles, waves, pleasantries and hugs. She reached back and is such a gift to me. Be brave, think "new" and Flood your life.

Friends Forever

 Don't you want to be my friend too?

With Awesomeness

This is my friend Molly.

She is my for real biological sister and she is awesome!! She is married to a very special man and they have 2 daughters and 2 sons.

Quentin and Molly

Zoe, Bridget, Molly, Elijah, and Quentin. (Mian's picture can't be on the internet yet)

 My favorite thing about their home is the smell of coffee that always hits you at the door. Their whole family loves coffee, and if I visit in the afternoon I will usually see Molly with her hands wrapped around a warm mug enjoying quiet time while her youngest son naps. It is during this time, when her heart and mind are still, that ideas come to her in waves. Some are big and some are small, but all are filtered through prayer and the leadership God has provided through her husband. Philippians 2:13 says," For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." God working in Molly both to will and to do of  His good pleasure is an awesome thing to behold. Sometimes it looks like a beautiful baby sling and matching nursing cover for a new mom. Sometimes it looks like a delicious meal for a neighbor. Sometimes it looks like a real live rescue for children in need. (She is a Foster mom) Sometimes it looks like a decorating plan for her decor challenged sister. Sometimes is looks like one service in church a week because you work Children's Church Sunday morning and Awana on Wednesday night. Sometimes it looks like a cool homemade slipcover for your worn out couch, or three wire basket lights hanging over a round table. Sometimes it looks like staying up until 1:00am with your college daughter and getting up at 6:00am with your 2 year old son.  The list truly is endless as God's imagination is limitless.

Baby bedding designed and sewn for her niece.

Stunning slipcover made by her.

A quiet place to listen to God.

Chair she designed that was purchased for the set of the television show, One Tree Hill.

Elijah 

Can't get enough of babies. 

Rehearsal dinner for my son Jeremy. Batman theme done well thanks to her fabulous ideas.

Loving on Anna at graduation party

True Super Heroes for VBS

No real reason, I just love this picture of her and my friend Soula.

 To be an awesome person, you have to be a broken and yielded person. Molly recognizes her frailty and sits each day at the feet of the God of the Universe and asks for His help. It is such an impressive thing to witness and guess what? He shows up (not bodily, don't get scared) in the hundreds of ideas that are His hands and feet. As Molly's sister I am so thankful she is willing to share. I love my home and each room has something in it that Molly helped to decorate. I love my church and each Sunday has people in it that Molly and her family help make welcome. I love my daughter and every month she lives at Molly's house is financially a blessing for her. I love my nieces and nephews who have Molly for a mother, and I love Quentin who has Molly for a wife and helper. She is the very best kind of awesome friend.

At Jeremy's wedding

Me, Molly, our Grandmother Lorraine and our cousin Alissa 

My sentiments exactly. 

 If our awesome God is working in you, but you aren't listening. Ask Him to make you like Molly, my sister, and Flood your life.

Can I get an Amen?

ps. Molly has a blog called The Industrial Cottage Inc. You won't want to miss it. It's awesome!!!

With Counseling

This is my friend Teresa.

Here we are, together as always.

We have been friends for 24 years. I can't believe it has been that long. Seems like only yesterday, we were helping each other babysit while we ran to the store. Teresa has three boys and a loving husband who happens to be the Pastor of our church.

Teresa and Dave

Her men

 Her kids are just as dear to me as my own because we all grew up together. I seriously mean we grew up together. I was eighteen years old when I got married, and nineteen when I had my first child. His name was Jeremy, and that same year Teresa had her third son Luke. We shared the same house when the boys were little. They rented the downstairs living space, and Scott and I rented the upstairs living space. It was so wonderful to have an experienced mother only a flight of stairs and a laundry room away. I learned so many things from her, and it was beyond nice to have a friend who was always a few steps ahead of me in child rearing and life.

Luke and Jeremy all grown up.

Still little boys to us.

 If I ever needed advice on anything, I would just run down and ask. How do you get rid of thrush? How do you make pizza dough? How do you decorate without spending too much money? How do you get rid of lice? How do you love a man you barely know? How do you have quiet time and toddlers?  The list was endless. The definition of counseling is the provision of assistance and guidance in resolving personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties. This sounds so cold just reading it from the dictionary, but if you blend it with what it means to counsel from a woman of faith standpoint, and how the Bible views women helping women, you will see that God places a high value on friends that give wise counsel, and their importance in His kingdom. Teresa has been invaluable to me as a counseling friend.

At Jeremy's Wedding

Serious

Silly

 Somewhere amid all the questions, she became more than that to me. She became my forever friend. We went from swapping information to bosom friends, like Anne and Diana from Anne of Green Gables.

Kindred Spirits

 We have giggled for hours over absolutely nothing, and cried together over real hardships.  Her miscarried baby boy, her daddy, and her first granddaughter are all in heaven waiting for us. We have worked along side each other through fun projects and through yucky ones. (under a house cleaning up cat poo) We have survived babies with reflux, toddlers who bite, big boys who get stitches, teenagers who sneak out, adult children who get married, thyroid cancer that came and went, and someday husbands who retire. We love to paint together and ride around in the car doing errands. Years of secrets, years of time spent on the phone, years of time spent in church together serving and being served have all been so special to me. I really can't remember a time in my adult life that Teresa wasn't around. She and her family have been irreplaceable gifts from a God who knew just what I would need.

Luke, Lauren, Jed, Dave, Teresa, Josh, Micah and Sarah.

Jed and Lauren before Eli

Newest Grandbaby

Josh and Sarah's new little girl Joci. (You have seen her before)

Daughter-in-laws both pregnant at the same time.

Yia Yia and Mamaw

Teresa caring for all three of her grandchildren. (Micah, Jocelyn and Eli)

Her favorite thing

Their ministry, and our church, have shaped my past, present, and future with the love of Christ. In eternity, I will be surrounded by those dearest in all the world to me because of their sacrifices. If you do not have a counseling friend, or a doctrinally sound church family, you could always come visit Avalon Hills Bible Church. If you live far away, I strongly encourage you to find a Teresa, and Flood your life.

Heaven on Earth

ps. Their son Luke, Teresa, Dave, Sarah and Lauren Rieke all have blogs worth reading. You can learn so much more about their lives than I had space to write. You will enjoy every one of them.
Luke
Teresa
Dave
Sarah
Lauren

With Teaching

This is my friend Soula.

Soula and Micah her grandson.

 She is a kindergarten teacher at a Virginia Beach Public School. She is also a Sunday School teacher at our church. We have known each other for 16 years, and I have such fond memories spent with her and her family.

Her dearest love.

 Our daughters have grown up together. We have had birthday parties, school plays, backyard BBQ's, game nights, and lots of lots chocolate chip cookies.

Anna and Michelle

Beautiful girls

 One of our favorite things to do, is run together. Soula and her husband Pete really enjoy running. They have participated in many local races, and always do well. I liked to run, but was not very fast or very good. Soula inspired me to try harder, and in the Summer, when she is on break from school, we run together.

Pete and Soula

Race we all ran in honor of Evie, her granddaughter in heaven. It was my first half marathon. 

 It is while we sweat that Soula teaches. (Once a teacher, always a teacher) I have learned how to shop for groceries with coupons, how to make healthy budget friendly meals, how to talk to my daughter about boys, how to be a mother-in-law, and how to pray when I can't "do" anything else. I have watched her endure deep sadness when her granddaughter went to heaven, and I have watched her live with the greatest joy over her grandson and his new sister this year.

Micah and new baby sister.

Yia Yia

Jocelyn

 She doesn't know it, but she is teaching me all the time. If you stop by the door of her Sunday School class on Sunday morning you will hear wonderful things. No child is above her notice, and kindness, exuberance, and pure joy fill the room. She loves her job and if you don't know how to treat others, you will see love in action. It is mesmerizing, uplifting, and informative. She has somehow managed to work, be involved in church, be a great wife, and raise two beautiful daughters. Her oldest daughter Sarah I posted about on, With Peace. Her youngest daughter Michelle you have seen in several photos throughout this month's posts.

Us with our girls.

Me with two teachers. (Michelle is a teacher now for VBPS)

We are close. Our kids are close. We are friends; friends forever, bonded over teachable moments. Do you have a teaching friend in your life? (Not a nagging friend, a real teaching friend) One who has actually mastered certain skills, and is willing to share all God has taught her. If not, you can always pop your head into her classroom, and Flood your life. She won't mind. She's a teacher.